It comes as quite a surprise when one we consider a friend lets us down. It’s like being slapped in the face with a roaring fire. Every nerve in our heart stands on edge. We are left wondering if we should try to make amends or let time heal the wound.
Sometimes we don’t know a friend very long yet things are going along just fine. There are parties, trips and long chats but suddenly they don’t need us anymore and they move on to another group of friends. We trusted that person but their friendship toward us was surface only.
There is another type of friend. This friend is one who sticks closer than a brother for many years. Gradually they get caught up in habits that make us drift apart. One day they say something so horribly offensive it’s like jumping off a cruise ship into freezing water. The longer we continue treating them like nothing ever happened the more offensive things get. We try to speak to them in parables somewhat without coming right out and saying their words are offensive. Unfortunately they don’t get it. They totally overlook the meaning of what we are trying to gently say.
We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that things cannot continue because their behavior toward us becomes unbearable. We are told things like we no longer fit in a group because we are a trouble maker. That in itself is a very deep river but as time progresses this friend starts to speak of numerous people like they do us. Many times such a friend gets caught up with people who are into habits but there is another thing that happens. That friend gets promoted or becomes a first chair player and gets recognized.
Suddenly nobody can live up to the standards of that person’s friendship. Our close friend starts to criticize everyone to us and gives us more reprimands as time progresses. While some people cannot handle failure there are others who cannot handle success. Either way, habits that become self promoting or self demoting will destroy friendships. They take no thought of who they hurt. They just want to cling to their self pity or their recognition and unfortunately both habits are like a little god to them. They forsake even their best friends to hold tightly to that position or attention getting problem.
What do we do with our hurt toward them when they have humiliated us horribly? How do we handle our grief when we see our friend go down the tubes? Sadly there becomes a time to move on. We must consider our friendship to our own self and to God. God will comfort us and He will direct our paths. He will see to it there are other people along the way who are better friends. Chances are greater than not that a restored friendship with one who betrayed us will never be close again.
God has us by the hand and He will lead us to serve Him. He will hand select others to accompany us through our walk in life. He will also use us in ways that glorify Him and our talents and friendships will be welcome. A good thought to ponder is not that we are moving on but we are moving up. It’s time to not let failed friendships hold us back. God is moving us up.
Isaiah 43:2 New International Version (NIV)
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.